i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
