i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is it penis luge time yet?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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