Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
