in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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