It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
