I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize