To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
