well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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