I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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