You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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