i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
