I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize