she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
