i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
