can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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