Will you blow on my dice?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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