Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
