"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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