There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
