I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize