Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
