i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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