I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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