and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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