never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
