Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
