sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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