just come out here and I will go home with you...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
