i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
