spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
