i wish my penis had a tongue
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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