Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
