I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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