I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
