we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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