I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
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