Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
