he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
