You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
They left me at home... I'm a liability
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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