You were right. It hurts to walk today.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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