You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
