We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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