FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
