It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
