oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
