I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
