I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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