In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize