I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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