To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
this hospital has no fireball
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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