i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize