my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
