Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
