Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
