Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
