just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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