I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
