billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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