I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
