Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize