You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize