I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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