I want to stick my p in your. b.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
