i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I came so hard my ears popped.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
